Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Games we played in class


Sometimes your mind drifts off on a tangent spurred by the most innocuous of thoughts but the end results are worth the effort. Was washing my hand with soap and as I observed the soap bar I wandered back in time…


I remember the prank that I used to play on others in school having been the victim initially I decided I should share the joy.
Step 1: Find an unsuspecting soul willing to explore the latest personality mapping / or astrological mumbo jumbo for themselves.
Step 2: Draw a grid on the palm of the victim’s hand (the more intricate, the better)
Step 3: Ask a set of pertinent questions like “A favourite person of the opposite sex…”
Step 4: Write the answer somewhere in the grid and proceed till you complete most of the spaces except for one small section.
Step 5: Look sufficiently thoughtful and ensure that you write as randomly as possible. Step 6: Ask the killer question, “What soap do you use?”
Step 7: Write the answer on the vacant space, start scoring out your labours till you have totally covered the palm
Step 8: Pronounce loudly, “You will have a healthy and clean future if you use this soap regularly and wash yourself daily starting with you hand from today”.
Step 9: Scoot!




Another time pass that spared few was the great romance tracker called FLAMES. I know many of you may have a smile on your face, if you have played it. For the ignoramus among us FLAMES stands for 6 options:
1) Friendship (not always desired)
2) Love (tops the list of results yearned for)
3) Affection (a poor second to friends, who needs affection anyway)
4) Marriage (a long term goal for many)
5) Enemies (this has broken a few hearts)
6) Sisters!!! (a surprising option considering that the parties involved are generally of opposite sexes, I suspect the inventor ran out of feelings for S, now I guess it would be renamed as Sex)

Anyway the task involved getting the names of two individuals and checking out what is on between them. To explain let me take the example of Surya and Jyothika.
Step 1: Write the names one below the other. (Back then gays were not in vogue, so it always was a boy and a girl)
SURYA
JYOTHIKA

Step 2: Cross out the common letters in both the names
SUR
J OTHIK

Step 3: Count the total number of letters
9

Step 4: Write the magic word
FLAMES

Step 5: Starting from L to R cross out the ninth letter of the word iteratively
FLAMES
FL MES
L MES
MES
ME
E

Step 6: Announce the results!!! (OMG the fans are going to lynch me!!!)

Step 7: If you decide to proceed further despite the heartburn and quantify the depths of the feelings, you can proceed to this step. Write down the number of each vowel in both the names.

A E I O U
2 0 1 1 1

Step 8: Now progressively divide this number by two till you reach a two digit figure, rounding it off to the next number when you reach an odd number.

20112 (+1)
10056
5028
2514
1258 (+1)
630 (+1)
316 (+1)
158
79

Step 9: This ladies and gentlemen is the true feeling between the two parties and that too @ 80%

This never ceased to amuse us back then in school.

Ah!!! Those good old days!


PS: D & I would be E @ 65%!!!!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Tagged for the first time, this year

1.If your Lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?

Well looking back, I guess I will get over it slowly

2.If you have one dream which could come true, it would be?

Still thinking…

3.Which one do you prefer-ice-cream or chocolate?

Chocolate brownie with ice cream?

4.What would you do with a billion dollars?

Spend some, save some, donate some, give some, burn some, loose some…

5.Can you fall in love with your best friend?

Why not?

6.Who is more blessed-loving someone or being loved by someone?

Loved by someone…

7.How long would you wait for someone you love?

Depends…

8.If the person you like is secretly attached, what would you do?

Wait for her to come around

9.If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?

Social inequality in all forms (same as Belle )

10.What takes you down fastest?

Gravity. I agree with Belle.

11.What according to you is blogger in denial?

Blogger who cannot or will not accept the truth

12.What’s your fear?

I may not complete the things I planned

13.Your opinion of the persons who tagged you with this?

My good friend whom I’m very fond of.

14.Would you be single & rich or married & poor?

Married happily & not very poor :-) (Me 2 Belle)

15.What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

Open my eyes (Don’t we all)

16.If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, whom would you pick?

God only knows, cos I don’t

17.Would you give all in a relationship?

YES

18.What’s eating you now?

Muscle cramps

19.Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?

I am happily settled in a relationship

20.What is your occupation?

Sales

21.What color are your socks right now?

I’m barefooted now

22.What are you listening to right now?

Some comedy scenes on TV

23.What was the last thing you ate?

Appam and stew

24.Can you drive stick shift?

Yup, not tried auto

25.Last person you spoke to on the phone?

My pal in Hyderabad

26.Do you like the person who sent this to you?

Of course

27.How old are you today?

Just under the Big Th

28.What is your favorite sport to watch?

Cricket, F1, Tennis, football

29.What are your favorite drinks?
Cooled pot water

30.Have you ever dyed your hair?

No

31.Favorite Food?

Biriyani

32.What is the last movie you watched?

I don't remember

33.Favorite day of the year?

Christmas

34.How do you vent anger?

Scream it off

35.What was your favorite toy as a child?

Can’t remember so many toys

36.What is your favorite Season?

Winter

37.Do you want your friends to email you back?

Of course

38.When was the last time you cried?

When I got something in my eye

39.What is on the floor of your closet?

Bed covers

40.Who is the friend you have the longest you are sending to?

The longest doesn’t blog, so sending to others

41.What did you do last night?

Sleep

42.Plain, Cheese or Spicy hamburger?

Spicy…

43.Favorite dog breed?

Labradors and mongrels

44.Favorite day of the week?

Saturday

45.How many states have you lived in?

Tamilnadu, Maharashtra

46.Diamonds or Pearls?

Diamonds

47.What is your wish for the new year?

That I achieve at least two of my goals this month

48.New year resolution?

No resolutions

I am passing on the tag to:

Trinity

Bungi

Chriz

Oxymoron

Anju

Dave

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Some questions

Have you ever wondered if you were mature enough to handle the challenges that life suddenly throws at you or even worse the challenges that you know will come one day in the future?

Have you ever realized that silently you have actually attained the maturity and seem to possess the skills to handle such challenges; skills which seem to have mysteriously crept out of nowhere.

Have you ever wondered that the biggest challenge is no longer big once it is overcome?

Is this what we call aging or the better sounding maturing? Or is it nature’s graceful pruning and crafting of mankind?

If this is indeed nature’s pruning, have we become good looking bonsais or scrubs, maybe even a banyan…

Have you noticed that when we start to drive (for good drivers only), the first thing we do even before we start the car is to check and adjust if necessary the rear view mirrors? Do we actually use our internal rear view mirrors as we cruise down the road of life?

Lastly how did two years go by so fast, it only seemed like a few days ago when I said I Do…

Thursday, January 15, 2009

When we were kids...

The first super hero on TV, I can remember...


Soft drink, you mean colour or goli soda?


Safe and cheap transport to school


You could actually buy stuff with even one or a few of them

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Scarred singles



Being happily married for almost two years now, it is so depressing to see and hear about my friends who have had marital disasters and now are trying various recourses for escape.

The reasons for failure include a greedy husband who considered his wife a pot of gold (he took it literally, forgetting that his wife indeed is a treasure), wives with a past and unwilling to let go and an independent professional woman who could not accept that matrimony is a two way. Maybe my list looks a little biased towards the women but the fact remains that women today are in a greater disposition to wreck marriages because of their empowerment.

Marriages may be made in heaven but I believe the reason many fail is that heaven was excluded from the marital space afterwards.

Sadly of the cases given above most were arranged marriages, where the parents did their best for their children to ensure happily ever after only to find that all good things come to an end quickly. I have a point to pick with arranged marriages, because of the way they are being done. The concept has been tried and tested and is generally workable but with the evolving times it should be adapted to the times.

One family was orthodox to the point of barring the engaged couple to meet before the wedding, sadly had they met a couple of times even under some discreet supervision my friend would have realized that his prospective spouse was not inclined towards him. Today they still do not communicate. Too much time was spent on the horror scopes and the scraps of paper hid more than they revealed.

One family went ahead and fixed the wedding on hearsay not bothering to verify the antecedents of the person. Historical baggage that could not be forsaken ended that matrimonial bliss very early.

One gold digger got through the simple discussions and never had to undergo a reference check, the marriage was fixed because the gold digger popped the question, the girls being dutiful directed him to her parents and they not knowing how to say NO jumped at the opportunity.

My heart goes out to all these “scarred singles”, to those faultless ones now against the institution of marriage. Those who have wrecked marriages and families because they were not responsible enough are despicable and should be avoided like a disease. Had they been responsible so much time, money, effort, happiness would have still remained…

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Satyam = truth, (Psst! someone tell Mr. Raju)


By now Mr. Ramalinga Raju will have sunk to the depths of infamy for his concealing a small sum of 5000 crores (actually he cooked up 5000 crores, they were never there in the first place)that have been telecast non stop on all TV Channels from mid day. I know that the size of the scandal has astounded you as it did me.

A few questions persist despite the matter been ripped to shreds by every reporter worth his salt.

1) Many people in the lendng business by way of experience can spot a funny or suspicious balance sheet by a simple analysis. For poor mortals like me whenever there came a suspicious set of financials we could send it to a reputed firm of auditors who track the veracity of the documents. Many a time such funny documents get caught.

2) From question 1, when Satyam had so many bankers and each bank has its own resident experts would have had access to the financials, how come no one saw the big picture?

3) From question 2, the auditors of Satyam from Pricewaterhouse Coopers, (I got that from the web and am reasonably sure of its accuracy) have certified the financials. Shame on you PWC, is that why people look up to the big four?

4) Last question to Mr. Raju, why? From the entrepreneur of the year to a mere mortal who found the crooked way better.

I heard a comment on radio recently, that when you die you take nothing with you , not even your name or your body, you are just a DEAD body.

P.S. This post was written from Hyderabad, it was weird to be there when the news of Satyam came out.

Some ads I saw recently...




Finance company funda 1) 0ne antique coin = 2 kuchi ice (where is the rest, you wonder?)




What in the wide world is this guy doing? (P.S. I can understand him being penniless in Hollywood, but if Visa makes you get fits, I rather do without it)




I do not understand who is dumb here, the kids and the mums in the ad, the ad makers or us watching this?

Turning on a stadium lights instantly and turning them around with the turn of a faucet!!! Thought kids were much smarter than this today, if they wanted Bournvita why not make it themselves or go buy a cup they have more weekly pocket money than I did for a whole year in my half pant days.




I am an avid biker and have clocked around 80kms on my bike, whoever made this ad is no biker and is off his edge. A stupid ad if there was one for bikes. Disclaimers be damned this ad is a sure fire accident causer.





As with more from its stable, these ads are another brainless attack on our senses, are women so ...

Thursday, January 01, 2009

First post of 2009!



Sitting in a near empty office (half sleepy, so excuse the almost disjointed post)on the first day of the year, I thought I will discuss the activities of New Year eve. I went for night service and found the church packed, the numbers had definitely increased from last year. What that indicated is open to speculation but personally 2008 had too many lows than highs so maybe the many in church were with me in trying for some divine solace in the days ahead.I always have this dilemma about changing this church routine and party at least once but every year passes and the routine never changes.

I take this opportunity to wish some people in no particular order who also did not party on Christmas eve: -

1) Rajinikanth and his brethren, Police constable wearing a mask and a muffler standing in the middle of the intersection and trying in vain to control the reckless driving in the wee hours of the morning. For him New Year eve might simply be a headache he would rather avoid.

2) Kamal and his colleagues, the ice cream vendor who worked in extra hours to ensure that late night revelers had a iced treat, to him the night was a bonus

3) Ajit and others like him, the waiter in Marrybrown who tirelessly cleaned tables and served the uninspiring food with diligence despite it being 2.30 AM when only call centers are awake. Maybe for him his job was at stake, considering the paucity of jobs anything goes…

4) Surya among others, the 10 year old balloon vendor with a disarming smile who patiently waited to sell at least one to the kids having a blast inside Marrybrown. For him the New Year eve could possibly be the next meal even a biriyani.

5) Fr. Vikram and others of his ilk who mediated for the faithful with the divine and also prayed for the year ahead. For them this New year coming after a difficult year behind made the job of getting people to god a little easier so maybe they liked the new year eve.

6) Arjun and his brothers in arms, who tirelessly drove the buses and trains that ensured people reached their loved ones on New Years day. New Year for them is just another day, it will be comp-ed some other day

7) Vadilvelu and his fellowmen, from the public utilities who ensured the fans ran, the serial lights burned, the aircon kept it cool, people had water to drink, the drains drained etc. New Year eve for them, must ask them for their views.

8) Goundamani and Senthil among others, who arranged the food, drink, entertainment, comedy acts, danced sang, and made the revelers have a good time. For them also New Year eve is work but with a bonus.

9) Vivek and others who ensured that the daily newspaper was ready on time. New Year eve, is more news for them to write about.

Had I looked around a little more I would have probably had a longer list, but I guess not partying on New year eve is not a bad thing after all, nor for that matter is working today.


PS: The characters above are real but their names as you can see are not.